On one hand, I love the idea of a re-set. The chance at a "do-over" is intoxicating and exciting. And, it's Biblical (see Lamentations 3:23 and 2 Corinthians 5:17). Grace for a new day and the chance to begin again are essential.
On the other hand, I know my track record. I've needed and used what are probably more than my fair share of fresh starts. The new year kicks off with grand intentions, or shall we call them, delusions. Finally, I think, this will be the year that I get it together and become the "me that I want to be!" But, by this time in January, I'm already struggling. Come Valentine's Day I have basically given up, by Easter I'm not sure what my resolutions were and at the end of summer....resolutions? What resolutions?
I am great at bringing the old me into the New Year, and isn't that the definition of stupid: doing the same thing over and over, expecting a different result? This lack of my perceived progress is at times very discouraging and depressing. Why bother if I'm just going to screw it up, AGAIN?
Last year, though, I finally tried something new. I set a simple goal- Drink more water.
That's all it was. My whole "resolution" for the year was to drink more water. Got it. I think even I can manage that. And, I did.
Now, that is going to sound really stupid to some people. Duh! It's water.
But I'm a recovering Diet Coke addict and this was big for me. I knew all the reasons, the science, the answers. But knowing truth doesn't make you follow it.
So last year, I drank more water. I didn't measure and I didn't keep count. I just tried to make water a habit and sort of got there. I drink more water now than I did at the beginning of 2012; it's my default about 50% of the time, whereas before it was my default only when I was feeing sick. YAY me! As the saying goes, "Don't practice until you get it right. Practice until you can't get it wrong." I will keep at it.
That effort spilled over into other things and became my theme for the year- Be Intentional.
In years past, I would pick a verse and make a long list of things to do/to be/to become. By now you know how that worked out.
Last year: Drink More Water and Be Intentional.
This blog is the fruit of some of that intentionality. I also started running and ran two 5K races. I managed an international move, partly by myself and things went great. We bought a house based on lots of research and looking, not emotion and whim. I was finally able to let go of a lot of the "stuff" that was clogging our lives. All of those things could have gone very badly, if they had been done at all, if I had not been intentional. Now, I'm not happy about all of the choices I made last year (hello, extra 15 pounds, so not nice to see you!), but I made progress.
It seems I need is simplicity.
So, I'm doing it again this year. One thing. One goal. One focus.
2013 will be LESS.
In a topic for another blog, I'm overwhelmed by how much more, excess, too much, over the top life is in America. And, while that's not necessarily a bad thing, for now, I need less.
I think my mantra this year may very well turn out to be John 3:30. Not to get into a theological discussion about taking things out of context, my mind keeps churning over :"He must become greater, I must become less."
Contrary to what I sometimes try, I can't control God. I can't manage the "He must become greater." I have know way of knowing or manipulating what that will look like, nor would I ever want to. Only God can do that. But I can control the "I must become less" part. Less of my natural inclinations. Less of my default settings. Less of the 'Amy' habits. I want to have less, do less, be less, to make room for Greater Him.
For me that will mean: Less yelling. Less consuming. Less spending. Less wasting. Less mindlessness. Less eating. Less busy. And, less of things that He hasn't even shown me yet. We'll get there. For now, though, just....less.
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