A Stupid and Dangerous Game

"Comparison is the thief of joy."

~ Teddy Roosevelt

I have 'radio silent' for a few weeks because I've been playing a stupid and dangerous game.  It's one that I struggle with occasionally and I know how dumb it is.  Sometimes I accidentally slip into it, sometimes I carelessly rush in.  The game?  That great and endless game of "Comparison."

How do I measure up?  

Where am I in the long line of Christianity?  "I'm behind you but way ahead of them so I'm doing okay."

"Is she a better mother than I?  She must be, everything she feeds her kids is organic and homemade."

"Wow...That was a great blog.  I'll never be that good of a writer."

"Is my marriage better than theirs?  Of course it is; we *never* argue about (fill in the blank.)"

And on. And on. And on.

Martha Stewart I am decidedly NOT.  Also, not much in my life is Pinterest worthy.  I don't homeschool, garden, sew, sell anything, etc.  I yell at my kids instead of patiently explain things. I bicker with my husband instead of calmly talking things out and serving him.  We eat fast food less than some but more than we should.  There are a lot of places where I feel inferior or not as good as someone else and, occasionally, places where I feel superior.  Enter the Comparison trap.

It's an endless game.  And a stupid one. Because comparison does one of two things to me.  It either:

A.) Discourages me and gives me an incorrect view of life or
B.) It causes me to start judging those around me and gets me up on my "holier than thou" high horse.

Either of those responses kill my faith. They sabotage what I'm supposed to be doing.  They suck up my time and keep me discouraged or distracted.  I'm no good to God in either of those places.  If I'm elbowing for a better place in line, I've got nothing left to do what I'm supposed to be doing and Satan loves that.

An additional side effect: I will always end up a loser when I compare.  There will always be someone smarter, thinner, richer, happier.  The world is full of people who are better writers, better parents, better organizers, more disciplined, funnier, faster, holier.  The list, like the beat that goes on, is infinite.  The ruler that I measure myself against will leave me coming up short.  Every. Single. Time.

I hate living like that.

In an effort to get myself out of compare/contrast mode, I did a Bible search.  Actually, the Bible has a lot to say about comparison but here's the thing-  it's almost always talking about God, not humans.  Only one time does it talk about comparing to one another....to say "don't do it!" (2 Cor 10:12)  Also, Jesus had a low tolerance to the jockeying for position that the Pharisees and the Disciples were always doing.  If He couldn't stand it with them, I'm thinking that He doesn't like it in me either.

My church is fond of saying that God draws straight lines with crooked sticks.

That would be me.  Right here.  Right now.  I'm pretty dang crooked.  Good thing God can use me anyway.  Regardless of how "_______" I am or am not, when I obey Him, He can use me.

I have to stop looking side to side.  Stop looking behind or in front.  Stop comparing notes with what other people have on their lists.  Look to Jesus.  Do the thing that is in front of me that He as asked me to do.

Today, that was write this post; regardless of how I think it turns out, how good it is compared to other things I read, regardless of what the feedback is.  Put down the stupid hypothetical ruler and write.